Hi, long time since my last post in English.
I've been indulging my sweet Amigas Darcy with a Portuguese version of Darcy's and Lizzy's hot Boston weekend, right on the beggining of my story 'How William Darcy persuaded Lizzy Bennett to love again' aka 'Friendship of a special kind (FOASK)'. Anyway, that´s done and they are surfing their sexy mood while I devoted myself to another task.
For several months now I had been struggling with Fifty Shades Trilogy . When I first heard of it, I was finishing the first edit of my story, so my mind was consumed by that (awfully hard) task. Then I re-revised it a thousand times (1000x awful task), posted, commented, revised again, posted on FFnet, revised, edited, translated 5 chappys to Portuguese, revised, edited and now it´s (almost) ready for publishing. YAY, btw.
Anyhow, only two months ago I finally started reading '50 shades', after the hubburb had spread around the world. At first, I hated it. Then I found my way through it. Let me explain my several shades of Pale.
1st shade: I LOVE FANFICTION. It´s no news to anyone who read this blog's subtitle. I do. I discovered fanfiction when waiting for the next Harry Potter to be released, I guess after book 5. And I loved it from the begining. Kinky Harry and Ginny: fun. From that to JAFF. In my mourning after release of Harry Potter 7 , Amazon sent me a lovely e-mail saying that I might like a book called Twilight . Oh boy, did I like it! And that brings me to shade 2.
2nd shade: I LOVED THE TWILIGHT BOOKS . From the end of chapter one, I was Team Edward. I read all three books in a row, hooked all my friends on it, I adored it. Merely having fun with a cool little book, I was very glad to find several hints of P&P on Bella and Edward. Come on! That was cachaça meets lemon! And that brings me to shade 3.
3rd shade: I LO-LO-LOVE P&P. No news either. On the right side bar you can find several fanfiction written by me and translated to two languages. I am crazy for Mr Darcy. Imagine when I found the 'Mrs Darcy' site? Yep, I went beserk. - 'Beserk' is so Edward, right? As well as 'unconspicoulsy'. Anyway, I had so much fun surfing Darcy's fandom that I let him talk to me and now I even consider myself a -hm,hm- writer.
4th shade: TWILIGHT FANFICTION. Loved those, made friends, elected my very best fanfictions ever like 'Waiting for dawn' (IMO it´s way better than Breaking Dawn. This is my view of their story.), 'Cullenary education', and my fave AU story - 'LOST' - the one when Edward returned only years later and Bella moved on to be a business shark. Fun, fun, fun.
All this put, I was glad when I learned the story behind '50 shades'. Really glad, a cool long NC17 fanfic published and sucessfull. YAY!!! So, as soon as I was sure I wouldn´t inadvertently copycat anything from it while editing my story, I started reading and...
5th shade: I WAS BORED. Yeah... bored to my wits. But, hey, this is Edward and Bella! Gotta keep going. I had to cajole myself to keep trying till mid book 1.
6th shade: I DON'T MAKE LOVE. I FUCK. HARD. Mmmm... how promissing. I kept myself going, deep down fearing Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty. Frankly, just thinking of Mrs Rice's books I get a weird twist right there where Anastasia feels the tightening in-every-5-or-6-lines. Really weird. Hard to describe. I dropped the first Sleeping Beauty after 1/4 read. Too much for me, too hard core. So yes, I kind feared Grey would be the mean Prince. Well, he´s not.
7th shade: VANILLA BDSM = MOMMY PORN. I like mommy porn. Yeah. Both in flesh and written. Or movies. Who didn't enjoy '9 1/2 weeks'? But excuse me, Mr Grey, you´re not my first. Enid does kinky fuckery marvelously. Rika too. A hawt bathing each other scene, here. A kinky delicious weekend, here. A damn hot beguiling panties-wetting pervert night between two consenting adults, here. No, am not linking my own stories, though I 've been compared to Mr Grey on FFnet. Point is, Grey is too... macadamia nut brittle. He has his oh-so-damn-hot-moments, but he could have some brandy in him.
8th shade: NO COPYRIGHT TO S. MEYER? Frankly, that made me sad. It's her Edward and Bella. Am still incredulous on this shade.
9th shade: BLOOD FOR SEX: WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!! I thought it so nice! It´s exactly what it is: instead of her blood, Grey wants her sex! Excellent idea, perfect, well connected, brilliant.
10th shade: AN AMATEUR MAKING MILLIONS. How great this is! An amateur writer making millions with her hobby, people liking and commenting. Great! The other day I saw a woman, late 20´s, leave her building with her '50 shades' in hands and nose buried in it, absently waving her doorman off, walking the streets and getting in the subway. She walked 3 blocks without taking her eyes off of it! I was coming from my baby's school and when I recognized the cover (BTW, amazing covers) I slowed my pace to walk behind her. I have to say that if she tripped, I would help her. An offer a copy of my book. Who can expect a greater success than this???
11th shade: I SEE, I TAKE, I SAY. '50 shades' is all written in the first person, in the present. Cool! I liked it.
f.e., my FAVE SCENE OF ALL - Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades Trilogy - CHAP 13' “You’re running?” he whispers as his eyes widen with fear.
I say nothing as I try to collect my scattered thoughts.
“You can’t,” he pleads.
“Christian . . . I—” I struggle to collect my thoughts. /.../
“No . . . no!” he says in desperation and puts both hands on his head.
“Christian . . .”
“No,” he breathes, his eyes wide with panic, and suddenly he drops to his knees in front of me, head bowed, long-fingered hands spread out on his thighs. He takes a deep breath and doesn’t move. What?
“Christian, what are you doing?” He continues to stare down, not looking at me. “Christian! What are you doing?” My voice is high-pitched. He doesn’t move. “Christian, look at me!” I command in panic. His head sweeps up without hesitation, and he regards me passively with his cool gray gaze—he’s almost serene . . . expectant. Holy Fuck . . .'
12th shade: DOES GREY NEEDS TO BE EXCUSED? I hated that. One can be mean and twisted because he likes to be. One never heard that Snow White's Stepmother had been an abused child. Or that Cinderella's mean sisters were burnt with boiling water in their craddles. People just want things and do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. Dex was an arse and we love him. So did Emma. I wish Grey were just... Grey. Plain dark chocolate with rum. Yummy! Not vanilla in disguise.
13th shade: ENCOURAGE YOUR WIFE TO READ IT. This last week, I heard from three different sources this same sentence. Husbands encouraging their wives to read '50 shades' to steam up the marriage bed. Come on! Can I curse here? Go &*%$#&*%$! If a husband can´t seduce his own wife - a woman who agreed to marry him some time ago - it´s because he can't show her a propper boner. She doesn't need to be seduced by Grey or Darcy or Cullen to be hot. Right? Do your job, you lazy husband! Read the books yourself! And buy a riding crop !
All this rambling and babbling comes to this: For me, '50 shades of Grey' is disappointing. I hoped I´d be avid for dark Grey and not hot for soft Grey, I hoped for a page turner, I hoped to be thrilled like I was when I met Edward Cullen. I hoped to be - a little - shocked like when I tried Sleeping Beauty. I hoped for more, like Anastasia.
So, bottom line is:
I did enjoy Mr Grey, but I'm back to Mr D.! He´s still THE man! ;)
Disclaimer: Images from Google, all stories cited belong to their authors, rambling and Foask are mine.